For this chapter at least.
Re-reading my entries has made me feel a stranger — to my own self. Funny, I know. It seems like I’ve highjacked someone else’s memory, someone else’s life, someone else’s thoughts. I can’t deny that there has been a great divide from the the Me Before and the Me Now.
I tried to look into my eyes from before by rereading my entries and I can’t help but smile and see a kid in it. At times I’d end up laughing, thinking “What the hell was I blabbing about?” “This is a child half raving of things she knows nothing of.” I was obviously unconscious of the many truths in life. I tried pushing the inevitable, tried to say “No, this is not ending. This is me, and I can’t end. ” But the bitter pill to swallow could not be stopped. I eventually had to face it and take the change in stride.
So this is me saying my goodbyes. This way I can move to my next writing life. Although I am putting this aside, it doesn’t mean there was no truth to it. It was all true, it was all me. It was the world I was served. But it isn’t me anymore. The shift has been so great that denying it would be lying.
This is RunJeanRun … off to another adventure.