Notes from 4-3-10

3 04 2011

I was reading when you approached me to my right, just silently stood there and waited for me to look up.  So  I looked,  and in an instant all the heartaches, all the headaches I got from you for the past month just vanished.

I miss you so much. We kissed – the kind that won’t let the public blush but it was nonetheless delightfully sweet. No worries, the kind we want will come in later.

You were late but I didn’t mind; errands, a bit of book hunting, shoe shopping (I need flats) and a few minutes to freshen up fixed that.

You took my hand and we walked companionably to our lunch. We sat closely and enjoyed waiting on each other – me pleasurably feeding you tutta carne, putting pasta and fritto on your plate and you getting me my condiments, juice and reminding me to eat more. I love looking after you. It’s such bliss being this close and memorizing your face.

We talked a lot. But I think you talked more and I basically just eagerly stared. I love it when you crack jokes, I love it when you tell me every random bits about you. I wanted to lock us in that moment: An occasion that fixed everything in my life, an event I want to live over and over again. A point in time that reminds me what happiness can really feel.

After lunch, we walked for a while. Then took a cab so we can spend the rest of the day just alone together.

I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t break off. My strength failed me and it was terribly beautiful to feel. Every single second kept telling me that even that moment still never seem to be enough. I never seem to have enough of you and you never seem to have enough of me.

Again, what followed, I love with every fibre of my being. Watching and listening to you sleep, letting you hold me whichever way you want and bravely sharing you the whole of me. I never wanted that day to end.

Never, never, never … but it did.

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