Notes from 03-19-10

19 03 2011

In a few hours I’ll be seeing Ayie and Ibim.

Although I’ve been awake for hours (and have been sleeping for hours prior) I still feel like I’ve just gone from events that happened  from two Fridays ago. I still have more to say and I remember placing “to be continued” in my last letter, but I’ve had enough. Work is disappointingly not what it had promised to be and people’s gargantuan indiscretion is at a point wherein it both can’t be undone.

My relationship still proves to be a challenge. I now know that the man I am with loves his freedom. You are aware that I want to pour myself to him fiercely but now I realize that the voice/ fear at the back of my head is actually my survival instinct. I had reasons to fear and him not being around this weekend is proof enough.

I think growing up, I was the one who had too much drama amongst us three. And I hate that even until now I managed my life to be just as dramatic (or dull, whichever you prefer). This is not my intention, I wish to be a happy girl. I know that the next day always come. Life continues … and perhaps one day the road will rise my way. I still have that faith, it has always been strong in me.

My plan is simple: Keep going and when happiness is present, such the marrow out of it.

I wish to see the beach with you, Ayie and Ibim.

– Je

p.s.

It’s mom’s birthday this Tuesday. I don’t have any plans in mind other than bringing home a cake, some nice take outs and perhaps a birthday card.

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