Prince Of Persia

31 05 2010

Did you know that mixed martial arts and the ability to scale ala Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon exist during the ancient Persian times? Me Neither. Alas, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time strive to defy such facts.

We start off with Dastan (Gyllenhaal) a street-smart orphan taken to liking by the king. Fast forward to his mid-twenties, he marauds a kingdom, meets a feisty princess (Arterton) and discovers a powerful dagger from the gods. With all this shenanigans going on, he becomes an alleged murderer and gets chased down by his own brothers.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is a story of journey, a bit of love story and a bit of family comedy.

What got my attention right off the bat was the accent. C’mon, will anyone make it clear to me? Why do ancient stories mostly have English accents? Seriously. It completely stole the show for me. Isn’t this Persia, then why is Jake with a cockney? And why is the prince Caucasian?

While I agree that it entertained me and was slightly impressed with the action scene, it could not escape the fact that it failed with the placing of the actors. Gyllenhaal is no Persian, Arterton is as flexible as a wood and the story is extremely predictable – I knew who the bad guy was and I knew that the robe had acid. If it wasn’t for Sheik Amar (Molina) things would come off as an ancient dude-surfing-in-sand type of rehash.

And that is not the only thing Prince Of Persia missed. It was off target when it’s time for the turning points to happen,  lacked proper climax and had a distinctive blah when it comes to its comedy. There were completely unnecessary events, presumably with the sole intention of squeezing as much chemistry and joke. For those who haven’t seen it and has plans of doing so, please, spare yourself from going on a murderous, bum-numbing two-hours. Trust me that you will not miss anything. It feels jarringly like something you’d rather just wait for HBO to air.

The movie is in cahoots with Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer so it’s safe to assume that this should pitch something of a feel good entertainment and I must say that it was amusing, until the credits roll.

Ratings:

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