I can’t for the life of me understand why I prefer not to use my head.
If you ask me now what is right, I can Ace it. But am I doing the right thing? No. And because I’m weak, I get into too much trouble. Biting more than I can chew, saying things out of anger, pretending people are not hurting me, pretending bad things are not happening and just walking around like everything’s peachy.
I’ve been doing all kinds of elaborate gymnastics for people to believe I’m getting by. But soon I feel like I’m close to breaking my back.
This is what happens when two huge characters in your life are certified emotional vampires. And when you can’t say things you’ve been meaning to, to bottle them seems to be the sensible thing to do. Goodness, I have got to get a hold of myself.
How the hell did I get so lost?