Out Of Loop

Last Thursday was the quintessential “I don’t want to go to work today” day.

I didn’t feel bad, health’s a-okay but my mind and senses were against going to work. Before bed, I kept telling myself that I am not going and no one can make me. I was only able to calm myself and finally soothed my body to sleep when I concluded that I really won’t. But my darn alarm clock won’t let it go. It buzzed away until I woke up and the chant “I don’t want to go to work today” started playing again.

Alas, even at the shower I was playing those words in my head. I wonder why I was still going against what my head is saying. So I pondered deep. What is really making me feel like this? The work? Naah. My agents? Naah. Oh wait, eureka! I know what’s making me feel like this…

I’m not telling, because everyone has that same reason as I to not want to come to work.

So why the hell did I still go? Well simple, I’m not one to neither be late nor absent save if I’m really sick. Although my will to work is challenged, deep within I know what I should do. I may be hating things at work but I need to be around for my team. They need me and knowing that fuels my motivation to roll with the punches.

So there I was dragging myself to work and not caring if I cut it close to my log in time. Wishing today would be better, that hopefully I unlearn my anger.

Wishing, hoping, praying  … but damn it doesn’t change the fact that I really didn’t want to go to work.


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