7 Books

11 10 2009

I did a bad thing, a very very bad thing.

I paced around itching to just let it; hankering to get a hit. But the sensible part of me is willing myself to just step out and not be bothered. But my trying was useless. I was already there and the beast was all over me. I did try to look for a way out but, well, that wasn’t any help.  I was much too volatile and weak to say no. I couldn’t, although I know I should.

I’m sorry I’ve misbehaved. I’ve misbehaved thoroughly – and thrillingly.  Will I ever be forgiven? If not, no regrets.  Still enjoyed it … still loved to know I still have the naughty in me. That as much as I know I’ll regret it, I can allow the ache to overpower me. There might have been devastation that followed but I know I’ll eventually roll over it.

Why can’t I hold myself back?

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