A Good End

This is the good pressure. The kind that you are willing to undergo and very much inclined to dive in. My current pressure is to shop.

Given that my pants are falling off and I’m not sure if some of my baby tees can fit without looking awkward, a good days worth of shopping is in order. For the past few days, I can properly say that I’ve changed a bit. I learned to be more efficient in compartmentalizing my meals and getting the right amount of sleep. Although, my fingers are still crossed that I can sustain it.

In the middle of the week I asked my boss if I can take a day off. He said no. Bummer. But I have the weekend to look forward to. Given that I hate crowds, I would need to move it on a Sunday; late afternoon until the mall closes. By that time people would be too busy trying to gather the very little time they have to relax before a new work week starts. So most of them should be home. As for me, I’ll come to work late for Monday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no nuisance. I was just lucky enough to get a decent schedule.

What I’m also looking forward too is having a day just to myself. For the past few days, I’ve been going out with friends and somehow, it brings the need to get a little “alone/ me time”.

Another pair of jeans, maybe a top, knickers, a pair of slip ons. And let’s not foget a nice meal at The Old Spaghetti House.

Currently listening to Use Somebody by Kings of Leon via Launchcast

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A Good Start

I woke up last Monday morning and leisurely prepared for breakfast with friends. I commuted to the mall and met with Abby and Ben at Pancake House in the city. This is going to be our last get together since they are off to Australia by Thursday.

Given that my last meal was Sunday Morning (I forgot to eat, I don’t know how that happened), I was properly famished. When I got to the restaurant and read the menu, I had difficulty choosing my meal – I sort of wanted everything, which was a predicament because they’re paying for it. And ordering the lot will be a bit too much. I eventually ordered a glass of Four Seasons and a plate of Gambero (super yum). As soon as the food hit our table I automatically stuffed my face with it. We talked while finishing our plate and at the back of my head, I was counting the short hours before I had to say goodbye (plus how succulent the shrimps were). You see, this is my last meeting with them.

While at it, we had a bit of a surprise exchange gift. Abby bought me a very elegant knitted top, dark chocolate and two key chains. I gave her a book that she was apprehensive about (The Graveyard Book) and gave Ben one, too (The Pillars of the Earth). Both of which are my personal all time fave. After providing Ben with the right amount of caution – he is about to start on a gargantuan novel – we swapped “thank yous” and “you’re welcomes”.

Soon after, I headed for work. The day trudged nonchalantly and I was able to cap it with the usual A-okay, finishing my Monday with as much as I can accommodate. Ultimately, the day ended with me having dinner with a different set of friends. This time I paid for it but was unable to finish it.

Looking back, I thought of how much I’ve missed Abby. While she was here, I revived the shopper in me. It’s not every day I get to go out with someone who shares the same shopping tune as I have.

Or maybe, it just helps that she has a fashionista streak and it rubs off me.

Wanting Too

Come closer, I’ll tell you a secret.

And after I have done so, I am sure a handful of strangers, friends and acquaintance will pester me about it. I might be bound for shame. And maybe I will look back to this day, wanting to kick myself. It’s not the first time that will happen. But before I open my mouth, I have to ask you a favour. Which I am sure some of you will break and some will gladly comply… I really don’t care. I mean no care for those with loose tongues. Hell will find them eventually.

But please, try not to go telling.

I wrote him a letter:

Hello,

I’ve been looking at you secretly. I would chance a glimpse from time to time and would wish that you were looking too.

And in those many instance I’d sneak for a look, I’d catch you looking too. Why is that? Is there something you wanted to tell me? Are you shy to do something about it? When our eyes meet, I’d look away as fast as soon as our sights touch. I’ll let my hair curtain my face and I’d secretly show a smile. A giggle rises in my head when that happens. I’ll be honest, I like the way you look at me. I like that your eyes would embrace me. I like that you do this secretly. And the way you look away once you’re caught simply intrigues me.

Remember when I first had my bad day with you around? I wonder how you found out. I was so discreet but you seem to be so observant. I thought my hair hid my face. Did it not? I’m sure it did. But how did you see me get upset? Are you secretly watching me the same way I’m watching you? I’m sure you are.

Let’s stop this “you watching me, me watching you” tango. Take the first step and I will have that walk with you. I think it’s time we stop lingering in these dire situations. Never think you’re inadequate for me, trust me you are far from that.

I want you, too.

Xoxo

Please don’t go telling now. Have him make that move.

Losing The Glove

I don’t know if I’m ready to say goodbye just yet.

I can’t tell you how bad I really feel. This is supposed to be easy and I shouldn’t be worrying about anything else. But if I am doing the right thing, why does it feel so heavy on me? Why am I already missing you when I haven’t even left?

It’s been so long since I’ve been comfortable and when I finally get to have it again, in a very short time, I’m off to the door. It seems it came too late and was ending so soon. Things will definitely change. Something I could not tell myself without feeling a little pinch. I would like to tell you the whole story. Why I want to hold on to you. Why somehow you made me happy. How things became easy even if I’m in a middle of a storm.

But that would be saying too much.

Playday Wednesday

Yesterday, I got home around six in the morning feeling my brain hyper acting because of anticipation. I had to remind Abby to ring me up for our day out.

Abby use to be from around here but moved Down Under to be with her husband Ben. They are visiting for a few days and I made it a priority to meet with them before their flight next Thursday. We met in Shangri La Starbucks and I was simply ecstatic when I saw Abby.

After giving her a big hug and pinching her arm, we started our day with a light lunch at KFC. Soon, we made a bee line to get some drinks and popcorn for the Time Traveller’s Wife. The original plan was an IMAX screening of GI Joe but it soon changed due to changing itinerary brought by how busy they are and my work. As soon as the movie was done – and after momentarily looking for Ben’s missing glasses under our seats – we walked around and did a bit of shopping. I tried looking for shoes but there wasn’t much to my taste.

What was odd was, I kept coming across these dainty Flannel tops – apparently Australians don’t like them and they call them Westy – that slowly grew on me. So ultimately, we went back to People Are People after I’ve realized that I want one. As of this writing, I can’t wait to wear it.

We continually wandered around (from bookshop to clothes shop, through a hotel, after ice cream and a few more purchases) and went to the computer alley to get some gadgets. By this time, we were slowly growing thirsty and hungry – me: anything with vodka, Abby: a Pitcher of Zombie, Ben: scotch over cola and all of us are in need of a proper dinner. Thus, our trusted Tia Maria’s was our next stop. 

I was appropriately full and was considerably tipsy by the time the restaurant closed. Somehow the two needed to wash off a bit of alcohol in their blood, so we decided to get to the closest coffee shop and continued with our chit chat. I had a Darjeeling tea and shared my no sugar carrot cake with Abby.

Very satisfied, properly tired, feet hurting from my high heeled shoes and wanting a long cold shower, I capped the day feeling happy to see old friends. Now all I have to do is say thanks by grabbing the bill faster than they can on our Monday breakfast. Why? I didn’t spend a dime on our day out. They even paid for my taxi ride!

I feel guilty, sooooo guilty.