A Good End

30 08 2009

This is the good pressure. The kind that you are willing to undergo and very much inclined to dive in. My current pressure is to shop.

Given that my pants are falling off and I’m not sure if some of my baby tees can fit without looking awkward, a good days worth of shopping is in order. For the past few days, I can properly say that I’ve changed a bit. I learned to be more efficient in compartmentalizing my meals and getting the right amount of sleep. Although, my fingers are still crossed that I can sustain it.

In the middle of the week I asked my boss if I can take a day off. He said no. Bummer. But I have the weekend to look forward to. Given that I hate crowds, I would need to move it on a Sunday; late afternoon until the mall closes. By that time people would be too busy trying to gather the very little time they have to relax before a new work week starts. So most of them should be home. As for me, I’ll come to work late for Monday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no nuisance. I was just lucky enough to get a decent schedule.

What I’m also looking forward too is having a day just to myself. For the past few days, I’ve been going out with friends and somehow, it brings the need to get a little “alone/ me time”.

Another pair of jeans, maybe a top, knickers, a pair of slip ons. And let’s not foget a nice meal at The Old Spaghetti House.

Currently listening to Use Somebody by Kings of Leon via Launchcast


A Good Start

25 08 2009

I woke up last Monday morning and leisurely prepared for breakfast with friends. I commuted to the mall and met with Abby and Ben at Pancake House in the city. This is going to be our last get together since they are off to Australia by Thursday.

Given that my last meal was Sunday Morning (I forgot to eat, I don’t know how that happened), I was properly famished. When I got to the restaurant and read the menu, I had difficulty choosing my meal – I sort of wanted everything, which was a predicament because they’re paying for it. And ordering the lot will be a bit too much. I eventually ordered a glass of Four Seasons and a plate of Gambero (super yum). As soon as the food hit our table I automatically stuffed my face with it. We talked while finishing our plate and at the back of my head, I was counting the short hours before I had to say goodbye (plus how succulent the shrimps were). You see, this is my last meeting with them.

While at it, we had a bit of a surprise exchange gift. Abby bought me a very elegant knitted top, dark chocolate and two key chains. I gave her a book that she was apprehensive about (The Graveyard Book) and gave Ben one, too (The Pillars of the Earth). Both of which are my personal all time fave. After providing Ben with the right amount of caution – he is about to start on a gargantuan novel – we swapped “thank yous” and “you’re welcomes”.

Soon after, I headed for work. The day trudged nonchalantly and I was able to cap it with the usual A-okay, finishing my Monday with as much as I can accommodate. Ultimately, the day ended with me having dinner with a different set of friends. This time I paid for it but was unable to finish it.

Looking back, I thought of how much I’ve missed Abby. While she was here, I revived the shopper in me. It’s not every day I get to go out with someone who shares the same shopping tune as I have.

Or maybe, it just helps that she has a fashionista streak and it rubs off me.

Wanting Too

23 08 2009

Come closer, I’ll tell you a secret.

And after I have done so, I am sure a handful of strangers, friends and acquaintance will pester me about it. I might be bound for shame. And maybe I will look back to this day, wanting to kick myself. It’s not the first time that will happen. But before I open my mouth, I have to ask you a favour. Which I am sure some of you will break and some will gladly comply… I really don’t care. I mean no care for those with loose tongues. Hell will find them eventually.

But please, try not to go telling.

I wrote him a letter:


I’ve been looking at you secretly. I would chance a glimpse from time to time and would wish that you were looking too.

And in those many instance I’d sneak for a look, I’d catch you looking too. Why is that? Is there something you wanted to tell me? Are you shy to do something about it? When our eyes meet, I’d look away as fast as soon as our sights touch. I’ll let my hair curtain my face and I’d secretly show a smile. A giggle rises in my head when that happens. I’ll be honest, I like the way you look at me. I like that your eyes would embrace me. I like that you do this secretly. And the way you look away once you’re caught simply intrigues me.

Remember when I first had my bad day with you around? I wonder how you found out. I was so discreet but you seem to be so observant. I thought my hair hid my face. Did it not? I’m sure it did. But how did you see me get upset? Are you secretly watching me the same way I’m watching you? I’m sure you are.

Let’s stop this “you watching me, me watching you” tango. Take the first step and I will have that walk with you. I think it’s time we stop lingering in these dire situations. Never think you’re inadequate for me, trust me you are far from that.

I want you, too.


Please don’t go telling now. Have him make that move.

Losing The Glove

21 08 2009

I don’t know if I’m ready to say goodbye just yet.

I can’t tell you how bad I really feel. This is supposed to be easy and I shouldn’t be worrying about anything else. But if I am doing the right thing, why does it feel so heavy on me? Why am I already missing you when I haven’t even left?

It’s been so long since I’ve been comfortable and when I finally get to have it again, in a very short time, I’m off to the door. It seems it came too late and was ending so soon. Things will definitely change. Something I could not tell myself without feeling a little pinch. I would like to tell you the whole story. Why I want to hold on to you. Why somehow you made me happy. How things became easy even if I’m in a middle of a storm.

But that would be saying too much.

Playday Wednesday

20 08 2009

Yesterday, I got home around six in the morning feeling my brain hyper acting because of anticipation. I had to remind Abby to ring me up for our day out.

Abby use to be from around here but moved Down Under to be with her husband Ben. They are visiting for a few days and I made it a priority to meet with them before their flight next Thursday. We met in Shangri La Starbucks and I was simply ecstatic when I saw Abby.

After giving her a big hug and pinching her arm, we started our day with a light lunch at KFC. Soon, we made a bee line to get some drinks and popcorn for the Time Traveller’s Wife. The original plan was an IMAX screening of GI Joe but it soon changed due to changing itinerary brought by how busy they are and my work. As soon as the movie was done – and after momentarily looking for Ben’s missing glasses under our seats – we walked around and did a bit of shopping. I tried looking for shoes but there wasn’t much to my taste.

What was odd was, I kept coming across these dainty Flannel tops – apparently Australians don’t like them and they call them Westy – that slowly grew on me. So ultimately, we went back to People Are People after I’ve realized that I want one. As of this writing, I can’t wait to wear it.

We continually wandered around (from bookshop to clothes shop, through a hotel, after ice cream and a few more purchases) and went to the computer alley to get some gadgets. By this time, we were slowly growing thirsty and hungry – me: anything with vodka, Abby: a Pitcher of Zombie, Ben: scotch over cola and all of us are in need of a proper dinner. Thus, our trusted Tia Maria’s was our next stop. 

I was appropriately full and was considerably tipsy by the time the restaurant closed. Somehow the two needed to wash off a bit of alcohol in their blood, so we decided to get to the closest coffee shop and continued with our chit chat. I had a Darjeeling tea and shared my no sugar carrot cake with Abby.

Very satisfied, properly tired, feet hurting from my high heeled shoes and wanting a long cold shower, I capped the day feeling happy to see old friends. Now all I have to do is say thanks by grabbing the bill faster than they can on our Monday breakfast. Why? I didn’t spend a dime on our day out. They even paid for my taxi ride!

I feel guilty, sooooo guilty.

Metaphors on Relationships

16 08 2009

It’s a piece of me that creates the whole. It is this exact displacement in normalcy that makes me so … well, me. Although I have realized this half a lifetime too late, it did not incapacitate me to live just as astute like everybody else. Like every human, this perhaps is my defining flaw that will set me to my days (some men have the Napoleon complex, some have loveless marriage, some hate their parents, some are sexually challenged and so forth).

So right now, I’m trudging the bookstores for a good romance novel. The kind that is appropriately driven. I’ve put off At Worlds End by Ken Follett for this jam, even though I was already holding it tight in my hands and drooling profusely for me to start it. I, unfortunately, went home empty handed. I decided to research further so I don’t waste my money to pointless, chauvinistic, corn dog, empty romance novels. I wanted to be responsible and comfortable taking in this genre so I walk away with appreciation and not regret.

I am trying to write something of a novelette which I am very much aware, will become a predicament given that I have had failed relationships and very little point of comparison for success. But I want to write it nonetheless. The story is still being put together in my head and whilst I’m at it, I’d like to research and read more to strengthen the different ranges of emotions I’d like for my characters.

My pick for romance novel emersion is Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song. I’ve marked my calendar for its release and I might request for an extra day off so I can pace it in my own time. I also have a few in mind and perhaps if I have more time, I can start on it as soon as I finish the first one.

I can not claim to know a lot about Sparks works, save for a few that I’ve seen on film. These fares are for musings and hankerings for my unintended genre. And I hope I walk away fulfilled.

The Proposal (2009)

14 08 2009


There was a direct intent to watch The Proposal. But after realizing I needed to find time, it was moved to a later date.

Nonetheless, I found it very satisfying. This is the type of fan fair that even though you know where the story is headed you still stay put and allow yourself the journey.

It’s a story of a guy that hates his boss to the bone but is caught up in her working visa issues. She is a cold, high-powered editor who can effortlessly manage to raise fear in four inch heels (Ana Wintour anyone?). The gist: they stage a fiancé route to get both themselves off their chosen predicament. The grand plan is reliable and their business agreement is treated with great caution given they have so much to lose.

But the plan is slowly foiled when they start to get to know each other. Ahh, what a beautiful complication, which we all know is headed to the ooeey gooey stuff that makes romantic comedy so palatable.


Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds pairings seem doubtful at first but their ability to exploit their acting chops fixes the snag. The chemistry eventually builds up via the all too reliable romantic comedy formula. Bullock’s dimensions ranges from uptight to awkward, and was well performed without overplaying. Reynolds on the other hand, has gradually improved his comedic ability via simple clueless ness and dry humor.

Set in Alaska – but shot in Massachusetts – it permitted the romance to blossom in the right location. The locality somehow made the surroundings photographic and allowed the story to evolve further. The pickle the characters are into is greatly supported by the laid back , uncomplicated Alaskan vibe.

And did I also mention the leads have uber hot bods? Oh yeah.  You might have already seen the trailer of them accidentally bumping in the middle of the room and ending up visually disclosing who’s on top. But the build up to that moment didn’t affect the comedy it’s supposed to bring.

It’s true that The Proposal may not be one of those movies that will sweep you entirely off your feet or reel in awards. Yet once in a while you’ll find a movie you can both enjoy in the comfort of a movie house (without feeling cheated out of your money) and in your comfortable over-sized sofa on a rainy day.

Or this might just be the romantic in me talking. 

Ratings: starstarstarstar_halfstar_2