Pen Over Me

Something interestingly weird happened last Thursday.

I was processing some important documents when they had to bring to my attention that they will need further verification. It was odd because no other verification is needed when the specimen is right in front of them, meaning me.

Apparently my handwriting changed. So someone had to be called to pull up my files for them to look at stock pictures of me and and the person standing in front of them. Unless they think I’m an uber-high tech robot then there is no reason to fear that I’m not the real me. The whole hoopla stemmed from my handwriting circa 2006 and after close scrutiny it was concluded that it was waaay too different for them to provide me a 100% appearance and clearance. So what am I supposed to say, I misplaced my real hands so I brought this one instead? Duh.

Eventually I had to prove to them that I’m no phony. So there I was staring at my old handwritings and trying to replicate it. Two people ogled me while trying to achieve this so it was a little nerve wracking. A few tries later, they concluded that it is no way near the handwriting of the person who signed the documents last 2006. What the f$%^!? I wanted to tell them to walk me through the metal detector to make sure that I’m me and the person who signed the documents years ago is the same person signing in today. I sat in the corner fuming after they said they still need to deliberate.

I could not be bothered by this. I swear I am me. And just because I can’t write or sign or fart the same way three years ago, doesn’t mean a cyborg walked in in my behalf.

The shenanigan continued followed by several penmanship tests. I grew grumpy, close to chucking a paper weight in the window and hurling the idiotic old hag out, when alas! The penmanship I had last 2006 sprang to life. I gave them a total of 4 specimens to be placed on record and I was out of the office in no time. I also asked that I be finger printed, because unless this b.s. procedure change, I would have to haul a lawyer next time.

I need a shrink.

Currently listening to Take A Picture by Filter followed by Soul To Squeeze by Red Hot Chilli Pepers via Launchcast


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