You Could Have Just Walked Away

17 10 2008

I was meant to publish a book review but instead, I found myself stomped over sudden turn of events that led a thought from coming to life.

As you already know, I wrote a very short contemplation about Nicole Sherzinger’s Happily Never After. The next day, in the middle of work my officemate approached me and spoke of words I did not want to hear – ever. A friend got beat up by her live in partner and is now lying in their apartment bleeding and alone. In an instant, I instructed the messenger to call our guy friends and send them over to her place. I didn’t have the power to stop a crazed man from beating his pregnant wife (in case he returns) and if she needed to go to the hospital they will be able to carry her. I followed soon after.

When I got to her place, I saw her sitting in a chair sobbing so hard that she could hardly talk. She had welts and bruises all over her and her hands were fresh from bleeding (sustained during the row). Our friends was around her, mute with disbelief. I was so overwhelmed with pity and confusion, I could not make heads nor tail of it. Kneeling in front of her, I asked why she allowed this, but all I got for an answer was “I love him and I can’t lose him”. She spoke in between shallow breaths with resolution and certainty. I knew then that to convince her to step out of this abusive relationship will be futile. Her judgement is clouded with twisted meanings only her mind can understand. I didn’t want to burden her with my righteous but apt advice. I thought, “maybe later when her body is not too frail, I will give her a piece of my mind.”

I learned that the dispute escalated after she found out that her partner was having an affair, which is not the first time. When she confronted him, the disagreement steadily grew and ended with him punching her several times. Later on she started bleeding, and that was it for her unborn baby. I can’t believe someone I know just took a page from a telenovela and turned it to something real. And the sad part is, there was no fight or flight on her part, she just stood there and took it.

It was a domestic argument that ended in domestic battery. Whatever the story was, I did not care and it’s not important. His actions did not merit any hostility. All she ever wanted was to keep them together and save their relationship, but what he wanted was for her to accept the fact that he is with another woman – while living together! His moral compass is so screwed up that he sees things upside down, warpped and shady. He justifies his actions with a minute flaw that she so willingly repents for (she badgered him to leave her woman) and he walked away like she wasn’t bleeding – like he just didn’t kill an unborn child.

We advised our friend of what she must do and after refusing to go to the doctor or report the incident to the police, I realized that until she accepts how wrong her situation is, nothing or no one can ever convince her to leave. It will be long before she can learn that this is no Happy Ever After and will never be. I just hope she learns fast before this whole thing ends up killing her.

A few hours later. He sends her a text message … completely thoughtless; he wanted her to wait for him because he’s coming home. No apologies.

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