Exactly a month ago, I was lying at a hospital bed wishing I hadn’t jumped in the shower after learning I had fever. I passed out an hour later at a cold drugstore floor and had to be rushed to the ER. There is an irrevocable but unfathomable truth lingering in the midst. I haven’t quite figured it out yet so a visit to the doctor is arranged for next week – can you spell hypochondriac?
This is the first time -in a very long time (the first was back in highschool when our car flipped over somewhere in GreenHills after speeding and losing our breaks) I was able to get a glimpse of my head… I mean the real one, under a CT scan (the first was just an X-Ray) . It felt weird staring at it. It sort of made me recognize how human I am. How vulnerable I have been and how identical I am to the rest of the human race. I don’t have illusions of grandeur and I do not consider myself foreign to what is earth bound. However, my years of hardly being in the hospital and the rare visit of sickness made me believe that I am invincible- to some extent.
I can never be more wrong.
I was given a copy of my scans (the one you see above) through a CD and I found ample time to stare at it at home. I don’t know how to read it but my gawking was prompted by my realization how asanine I was to think that I can pretend that I’m not sick. I’m never doing that again.
I still have this weird lump at the back of my head that feels tender. I never knew contusions can last this long.