Result Of An Inappropriate Head Banging

29 08 2008

Exactly a month ago, I was lying at a hospital bed wishing I hadn’t jumped in the shower after learning I had fever. I passed out an hour later at a cold drugstore floor and had to be rushed to the ER. There is an irrevocable but unfathomable truth lingering in the midst. I haven’t quite figured it out yet so a visit to the doctor is arranged for next week – can you spell hypochondriac?


This is the first time -in a very long time (the first was back in highschool when our car flipped over somewhere in GreenHills after speeding and losing our breaks) I was able to get a glimpse of my head… I mean the real one, under a CT scan (the first was just an X-Ray) . It felt weird staring at it. It sort of made me recognize how human I am. How vulnerable I have been and how identical I am to the rest of the human race. I don’t have illusions of grandeur and I do not consider myself foreign to what is earth bound. However, my years of hardly being in the hospital and the rare visit of sickness made me believe that I am invincible- to some extent.


I can never be more wrong.


I was given a copy of my scans (the one you see above) through a CD and I found ample time to stare at it at home. I don’t know how to read it but my gawking was prompted by my realization how asanine I was to think that I can pretend that I’m not sick. I’m never doing that again.


I still have this weird lump at the back of my head that feels tender. I never knew contusions can last this long.


Cheetos Dipped In Sour Cream and Onion

27 08 2008

Casually pacing around one lazy weekday morning at the grocery, trying to find something decent to eat over a book, became testy.

Vanity is the root of all evil (Al Pachino), so sue me. But if I’m going to have a decent day with a respectable book I will allow myself to eat anything I want. I couldn’t find my brand – Kettle, and I was beginning to be exasperated … I should’ve just gone to Shangri-La they always have chockfull of stocks there. So with brimming impatience and my petulant appetite getting the better of me I formed a bee line back to the snack section and picked something I haven’t had for the longest time. Cheetos. Now that’s great, I kicked myself, I don’t like this. But a voice at the back of my head advised a dip. So I dragged myself to the frozen section and picked anything that seemed nice. Sour Cream and Onion.

Before crashing in my room and opening the book, a tried it first. Just to make it a little more exciting – not that it was boring; just to jazz up the usual shapes of chips I put in my mouth – I picked Cheetos Twister Puffs. I dipped it lavishly on the sour cream and onion and tasted it. So far, it was a good find. The creaminess of the dip and the tangy cheese of the chips melts with incomparable quality. I must say I enjoyed it a lot, very tasty. I got the buzz I needed.

It was sort of my cherry on top of my ice cream – meaning the book, no sleezy interpretations please, we have food on the table. 

The Lullaby I Hear From A Book … The Saga

25 08 2008

What makes me crazier than usual is I can hear songs, scores, lullaby, and sound effects in my head when I read a good book. I get so lost that my fluidity from simply sitting in my room, reading, and transporting myself unknowingly in the pages of any book, is sublime. I failed to buy a new book the last time my friends and I went out so I’m left to reread one particular book that drove me to tears. Some books just have the careless ability to open old wounds. And soon after reading it, I heard a song on the radio that seemed appropriate for the closing credits … or maybe the part where the girl learns to move on or at least fake it.

For those who have read New Moon and hear Better In Time by Leona Lewis can perhaps understand why it’s been following me around like a shadow.

It’s been the longest winter without you. I didn’t know where to turn to. See somehow I can’t forget you. After all that we’ve been through. Going coming thought I heard a knock. Who’s there, no one. Thinking that I deserved it. Now I realize that I really didn’t know. If you didn’t notice, you mean everything. Quickly I’m learning to love again. All I know is I’ma be okay. Thought I couldn’t live without you. It’s gonna hurt when it heals too. It’ll all get better in time. And even though I really love you. I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to. It’ll all get better in time. How could I turn on the TV. When there’s something there to remind me. Was it all that easy. To just put aside your feelings. If I’m dreaming don’t wanna let hurt my feelings. But that’s the path I believe in. And I know that time will heal it. If you didn’t notice. Boy you meant everything. Quickly I’m learning to love again. All I know is I’ma be okay. Thought I couldn’t live without you. It’s gonna hurt when it heals too. It’ll all get better in time. And even though I really love you. I’m gonna smile ‘coz I deserve to. It’ll all get better in time. Since there’s no more you and me. It’s time I let you go. So I can be free. And live my life how it should be. No matter how hard it is. I’ll be fine without you. Yes I will. Thought I couldn’t live without you. It’s gonna hurt when it heals too. It’ll all get better in time. And even though I really love you. I’m gonna smile ‘coz I deserve to. It’ll all get better in time.


22 08 2008

Fast forward to 700 years, Earth is left in the hands of one robot to clean up our mess while we take a vacation in a galaxy far far away. The last inhabitant to carry out his duties as a Waste Allocation Load Lifter Axiom, aptly named WALL-E, has now become self sufficient. In the process he learns emotions and becomes undeniably lonely. But one day a visitor from a sentient place paid earth a visit. Realizing his opportunity to make friends and perhaps end his unremitting need to hold someone’s hand, he follows her at the ends of the universe.

Truth is, I made a conscious decision not to follow up Dark Knight with anything that will ruin the whole experience. I chose not to catch anything else other than the suitable ones, which in this case is Wall-E and Hellboy II. So when my trip to the theatre provided good review, I was thanking and praising Pixar.

There is a haunting trait in Wall-E past his functional ability. The way he move about doing the things he was made to do and silently showing personality in his nimble mechanical body, is so effective that the risk for having little to no dialogue is exquisite. His visual articulateness is so astute that it was so fresh to just sit there watch and interpret without trying so hard. For adults who understand the existentialist in the movie, it can be poignant and bitter sweet. Wall-E’s need to have a companion and to share the little things, well actually vast collection, he has and also maybe someone to talk to other than his critter friend. To kids, it’s a visual playground chockfull of surprises and cute gags. One way or another, it also reminds us the value of keeping our planet clean and the lesson we can learn from greedy consumerist. Also, I can’t deny thinking that Wall-E can kick R2D2’s ass.

The overall emotion envelopes audience with its intelligent technique providing us with enough provision to go about the experience. Disney and Pixar did not let us down with all the hype and it even provided us with a lesson that’s not so in your face but subtle enough to be heard. The premise is also so original and brilliantly crafted. It mingled with an impressive musical scoring and the animation is so skillful the movie is capable of grabbing adult votes effortlessly.

Wall-E is a must see not only because it studies the level of loneliness and need to be with someone. But because the movie over all did not disappoint by tapping to everything that makes us human.


Twilight Over Half Blood

20 08 2008

I’m sure you’ve heard it by now but if you still haven’t, they are moving The Half Blood Price’s screening from November of ’08 to July of ’09.

I’ve already planned my November calendar and this one swims against it. From my trip, I’ll fly back to the city and catch the movie. But since it’s not going to happen anymore, I think going back from my vacation from cold cold north will not be very exciting as I hoped it would be.

harry, hermione and ron
Harry, Hermione and Ron

Harry Potter

Apparently there have been issues with the movie’s editing that they had to bring it back to the chopping board for a more fit version. The recent writers strike influenced the stability of the script prompting a need to rethink and innovate the loose ends. In addition, the motivation for a tricky change of date is that there won’t be anything big for U.S. Summer ’09. Perhaps what Warner Brothers is after is the same wave the Dark Knight rode on. It is hard to deny that the juggernaut that is Batman had things set for them having no equal competition in the market. Summer blockbuster almost always transmit bigger income as opposed to a fall release. Records show that Order of the Phoenix reeled in more than the other HP movies because it released mid-summer.

Edward, Bella and Jacob
Edward, Bella and Jacob


With the untimely change in the line up for November film release, Summit Entertainment saw the opportunity and jumped the track. They are now releasing Twilight on November 21 instead of December 12. This new-born phenomena authored by a supposed JK Rowling wannabe, saw a window difficult to pass. Twilight has been building enough momentum to be noticed, that cradling the very much peeved Potter fans became difficult to pass. Its potential is believed to be strong enough to make the Twilight Series a franchise.

With or without replacement, it’s hard to deny that so many fans are upset with Warner Brothers decision. It’s rather difficult to see past the fact that they’ve already made an announcement and we’re missing Harry Potter this 2008.

Twilight better be worth it.

To The Mall For The Ball

18 08 2008

I can’t remember the last time I became problematic over a dress. And now remembering the jitters it brought, made me excited.

I’m off to a black and white party, so a good whole day at the mall is in order. Isn’t that grand? Once in a while I get to attend a ball, be a girly girl and just relax … wait.  What relax?  There won’t be relaxations here. Am I supposed to be cramming by now? Yup, I should be. I need to get the best dress that won’t make me look I’ve overdone it.  I also need something that will be fashionable in the most subtle way it can. And oh yeah, it should also not render me penniless after the purchase. I also need to look for a corsage. I want it to have a black ribbon and a white flower… are corsages ordered in advance? I think they are.  Everything will be black, including my shoes except for my pearl earrings and my corsage. The party’s this Saturday but I haven’t prepared anything yet. What if I can’t find a dress? What if I can’t find a shoes? What if no one makes a corsage with black ribbons on them? Shite. My hair. Will I be putting it up in a bun or just set it on a pony tail with little curls on them? And my make up. Who will do my make up?

I wish I had a fairy grandmother.

Now I remember why I don’t often get myself into these things. I just can’t wrap by head over the fact that panic almost always sets in. Oh well, at least I have shopping to look forward too. In case I go home empty handed, I’m sure browsing will be fun… and my friends and I can just hang out at a coffee shop to relax with a magazine or a book.

In case I decline the invite, they can always call me anti-social. Now that would be something new.

Breaking Dawn

15 08 2008

Darkness in the brethren of vampires living in the sleepy town of Forks is coming to a close. All because a mortal and a beast accidentally started a family.

Slowly she walked to him, radiant and exited; soon she will be a Cullen. Down the aisle, the groom can never be more happier; the love of his life is walking towards him for a promise that will mean eternity. In the blurry of the festivities the two lovers, seventeen year old Edward and eighteen year old Bella, exchange I do’s.

Celebrations like this bring families together and somehow it can moot enemies in one roof without tearing each other apart. What made it festive than it already is, is the fact that Jacob Black had finally come home. Bella lost him in fury over the choices that she’s made but their bond as best friends were too strong to sever. Jacob had to go home and stand as the best man Bella wanted him to be; he’ll sacrifice (again) just to make life perfect for the girl of his dreams.

The blushing bride and the proud groom run off in the night to enjoy their matrimonial bliss. Tonight the promise will be fulfilled; fully human and wanting to enjoy everything experienced as a human, Bella and Edward starts with a nervous first night. However, when Bella opened her eyes in the morning something was wrong. Edward wasn’t happy, not one bit, if anything he was repulsed of what he has done. Apart from the customary aches and pains, Bella is covered in bruises. Edward was not careful and the dancing colour on his wife’s skin tells him so. Why didn’t she stop him? Perhaps what Edward did not understand is that Bella was very much in consent; she understood. Nevertheless, her human weakness will prompt Edward never to touch her again, not until she becomes a vampire.

She will turn him, yes, but the plan is abandoned when Bella’s health took a turn for the worse. Something in her was growing, something imminent, something deadly. How can she be pregnant in less than a month? Edward made a mistake and this mistake will mean that they need to go back to Forks  Washington – fast. The spawn needs to be rid off. However, Bella would rather be dead, and for sure, Edward knew it was really going to be her end. Because no human can bear a monster’s child; in just a month the baby will tear and chew out of her.

Jacob Black knew that he would keep his promise. Once Bella comes back, war is waged. He is sure that the girl he fell in love with by the beach is no less than a monster, whether he likes it or not, the Cullen’s will be killed. But when the fateful day arrived, Edward was on his knees begging for Jacob’s help. Why is everything upside-down?  There will be no killings the day the bride and groom return, because they themselves are already dying. Bella, in as short as a few days lost so much weight, eyes sport deep black circles and her weakness, emanating from the thing that was growing in her severely bruised and hideous belly, is stealing her life away. What has he done to her?

If Edward had tears, he would already be crying at the foot of Jacob. He begged profusely and the hate that drove Jacob away turned to crushing pity. He beseeched him to save Bella, to convince her to abort the abomination that is slowly and surely eating her away. Edward had no idea of Bella’s maternal instinct and her sudden need to have a child, he implores that Jacob take her away and give her the life that she wants; the family, the normal night of wives fulfilling their duties, to bear a child that will not murder her in the process. Jacob knew, standing there watching the vampire who was so happy a few days ago driven mad of despair, that something is gravely wrong. What was he thinking? But he refused; he can never do what is asked of him. Although it will play to his advantage, he loved Bella more than anything in the world and he knows he can never make Bella happy the way this distraught vampire can. Yet, with all the knowledge of his age, Edward can only come up with this solution; take the one I love and give her the desires of her heart. He’d rather have that than have her dead.

Jacob is suddenly lost in thought; finally his sworn rival is backing down and yet he can never win this argument with Bella. They’re more likely to end up fighting if she wasn’t so weak. Nevertheless, he had to try because the vampire needed him, he might just be the only chance to save this dying human.

Bella, although frail will not budge. She is hopeful that the child inside her will be okay and she can fare through it; that she can somehow make it work. She might look like she is dying but her resolve to save her baby is strong. In Jacob’s confusion and loneliness, an idea came to him. If the baby is Edward’s it only means that it too was a vampire, thus needing blood to live. The fetus was living off Bella and in order to keep her from tapping out they had to replenish her resources.

And Bella drank human blood long before she became a vampire. Jacob is hero once again.

This bought her time but it prolonged  Edward and Jacob’s agony; she is still nonetheless walking to her death. And for all it’s worth, the borrowed time secured peace between the warring men. Although Edward’s kind and Jacob’s people will always be against each other, at least even just the two of them – even for just a short moment, can sit, be civil and understand each other. They may be sharing fear of losing the one girl they’ve ever loved, but it is nonetheless still sharing in peace.

But the peace was suddenly torn by Bella’s painful screams, Edward’s baby is about to be born in just around a month. The movement inside Bella’s body turns frantic; the baby is wriggling  its way out breaking her mother’s bones. Bella is giving birth violently and no one is around to help. Yet Edward and Jacob had to try, death is apparent, but they will not hand her just that easily. Fire and Ice stood together fighting one battle in synchronicity. Not one faltering, not one wavering, but try as they can when the spawn tore out from Bella, the battle was lost.

I blew more air into her mouth, but there was nothing there. Just the lifeless rise of her chest in response. I kept pumping her heart, counting, while he worked manically over her, trying to put her back together. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men …

But there was nothing there, just me, just him.

Working over a corpse …

Because that’s all that was left of the girl we both loved. This broken, bled-out, mangled corpse. We couldn’t put Bella together again.

I closed the book relieved after learning how the story ended. Perhaps following the series prompted my need to read the book just so beginning it won’t be wasted by skipping this one last hurrah. And to my surprise, dawn indeed was breaking outside my room when I closed its pages. I opened the door of my quaint terrace and rested my tired but content self, staring at the gradual colours sneaking in the horizons. It was a journey worth reading. Then I realized a review was in order.

I stared at my screen conjuring for the words, yet the inescapable truth of being exhausted is overwhelming to ignore. It’s quite difficult to overlook that it carried a hefty 768-page narrative, so there were times I wished that Meyer would just go straight to the point. Honestly, she was at the point; I was just too wound up to know the conclusion. There were so many details and most of it was happening just within a month. Haste and information over load never mixed. At times when my impatience is crawling in, I simply caution myself that the payoff will be enjoyed thoroughly if I stay on track, so continue I did.

Breaking Dawn is the fourth and final installment of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series. The book itself is divided into three chapters narrated in Bella (Book One and Three) and Jacob’s (Book Two) point of view.  It picked up with Edward and Bella’s wedding going as smoothly as Alice arranged. Down to the honeymoon; which to my chagrin was a little short in the description arena. It’s virtually impossible not to blush about the furniture wrecking-bruise inducing-pillow tearing sex. Then I had to remind myself that this is YA literature … we wouldn’t want to anger conservatives and befuddle kids.  Nevertheless, it provided us with enough innuendo of what transpired when Meyer cut short with the narrative of the first night. What puts me out is Edward’s melodrama of his self-hate after realizing what he put Bella through the night before. I wast just thinking, maybe he could have responded diffrently. Edward is just too complex and sometimes irritatingly theatrical. Can’t he just get it in his thick head that the lady likes it hard? LOL!

I’ve read several plot of women finding out they’re pregnant and while Bella was realizing this, I found it a little trite … a tad, how shall I say this without sounding asinine? … hokey and square. Until Edward suggested abortion, talk about pulling the rug under you. I was yelling, “Asshole, I thought you loved her?” in my head. Soon I realized why.

It was a fresh approach that Meyer allowed Jacob’s point of view to be presented. It’s quite interesting to be in his head. Although short compared to Bella’s book, it provided more than enough view of where this long-suffering hero is coming from. The prologue of his anguish in Eclipse is visceral. His struggle is now more astute and, silly or not, we can see the depth of his logic. He is both poignant and funny. While his miseries from the past have been described in Bella’s POV, it is nothing compared to how Jacob justified it in his head.

Edward’s vulnerability was never center stage in any of the books. We might have had a little taste of it in New Moon but the anguish and helplessness is far more profound in Breaking Dawn. He will not say a word but you can read it even if Meyer did not pen it. The vulnerable being is there and he accurately screams pain. If monsters ever really love and their heart starts breaking, Edward articulated it skillfully. Somehow, through Jacob’s eyes you can distinguish the level of despair he is going through. I especially like the way he answered Jacob when Jacob have given up giving Bella CPR. It was just too heartbreaking.

It is true that there are points in the story that builds up to nothing. Sort of like, making us feel that we will jump shark but really its just a case of making things a little invigorating. Some moments fail to launch to your expectations just when things get heady. The first half has its thrills but the second half has things spilled in wrong directions that it spells anticlimatic. Perhaps that’s one of my reasons why I’m only reviewing Book One and Two. For a tome that deals with the occult, this one pales to a degree. The payoff lacked the MPH it started with. Although you want good things to happen to all the key characters, somehow the realist in you will identify the lack of pain and heartbreak. Poignant ending always seem to hit the right note.

After the story’s ended, it still has potentials. The star crossed lovers got their much needed ending and yet there is still so much more for those who surround them. So many stories yet to be told; characters yet to be embraced. The pages of the Twilight Series doesn’t seem to close here, there is great possibility for a lengthy epilogue. Until we hear Jacob get his happy ever after, we will wait.

Breaking Dawn believes in happy ending. It will gnaw in you even after seeing (or reading) the worst (I still can’t wrap my head around how Bella’s powers were exhibited). The contrast from Twilight to Dawn is comparable to water and stone; flowing to stern. Yet somehow, like the element that they are, it will mix through time and it will find a way to deliver that to you.


Breaking Dawn (fourth and final installment of the Twilight Series)

Written By American Novelist Stephanie Meyer

Published By Little Brown