Iron Man

I was hesitant at first. I’m having a hard time registering Robert Downey Jr as a comic book hero. But it’s either that or Ashton Kutcher’s What Happens in Vegas.

So let me give you a gist of Iron Man. Like Bruce Wayne, he’s born with golden/ platinum and diamond studded spoon shoved up his ass; he also has the brains to boot.  Perhaps the only difference is, Tony Stark (Iron Man) dug his own grave, brought the world with him and suddenly had an epiphany to use his know how and company for his and the world’s retribution.  Hmm, that still sounds like a tad bit like Bruce Wayne.

I digress.

Tony Stark sells machines for destruction, in return he gets to sit on the top of the world, womanize, brag and protect the world he lives in.  But when it back fires he decides to use his ability to build a one-man machine that will do all the things that his previous weapons can, but this time with a little more bang and style.  He fights crime in Afghanistan and attempts to foster a more pleasant persona in front of the public. The movie drags to predictable when sidekick Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges) and sexy sensible secretary Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) are introduced.  Obi, nicknamed by the obnoxiously wealthy Mr. Stark, took care of the company in the untimely death of the young Stark’s father.  But as soon as Tony came of age, he swepts in with his megalomaniac charisma and skills to bring the company to its dizzying success, leaving old Obadiah furtively resentful.  No shock value when we find out that he has been plotting a grand U-Turn against the son of his former business partner. Obadiah strongly believes that the sudden goodwill in Tony will bring the company to its end. Proving that the existence of the young Stark as a determent for his plans to become the ultimate armament producing company, he sets the stage for a duel.

So what about Ms. Potts?  Well, her first few lines explains her purpose in the movie (I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?). She’s legendary in the secretariats league but is a total waste in the grand scheme of the plot.

So that is my gist of Iron Man. But what do I have to say about it?

Iron Man was written by genius Stan Lee 40 years ago and is relatively unknown unlike Spiderman and X Men. The movie on the other hand is an incoherent ensemble. If you want to be entertained and plan to witness the hype that’s nothing but a bunch of shock and awe, explotions, heavy artillery, flying grown men in metal costumes and the proverbial “I’m gonna save the world and try to be funny while at it” discourse … then by all means, go.  It does pack a punch for entertainment but it doesn’t deliver much after that.  I wonder why Gwyneth Paltrow chose this movie to be her comeback flag when it doesn’t justify her expertise in acting. She ran cold the entire time. Her decision to take a PG-13 comic book adaptation might be contributed by the fact that she is now a mom but it still doesn’t go unnoticed that it’s a poor film and character to present to the public for a return.

The message the movie is trying to convey is convoluted in parts. It speaks of topics waaaay to complex but harshly resized to a division between good and bad. Even a child knows that the world is not divided by terrorist, war mongerers, thieves and good guys in expensive suits. The journey of Tony Stark’s turning point proved shallow and too commercial

How about Robert Downey Jr.? I’ve known him as a tortured soul.  After trying to rise from a hole he dug for himself after getting involved in drugs, Iron Man registered candour. But that’s as far as it goes.